Hey mom and dad,
I think it’s only fitting that my first post after a looooong-ass break should be dedicated to you. By the way, it’s exciting to know that you read my blog. HA! I think that’s kinda cute. Shout out to my grandparents too if you’re reading this. I love you all. 😘
So yes – mom and dad. Even though I only spent five days with you back in April, it felt like we’d been able to connect and share way more than ever before. Watching the video recordings of my childhood made me realise just how much love you had and still have for me (your one and only precious little blob) and how much I’d taken you for granted. And I can’t believe how much my being open led to you also opening up and sharing some awesome stories. I couldn’t help but think to myself… “how could I have missed this all this time?”
It was strangely surprising to learn that you’d wanted to hear more about my life… but of course, which parent doesn’t want to know what their kids are up to? I’m sorry for keeping all of the amazing stuff that was happening in my life to myself because I thought you wouldn’t understand or might disapprove. Holding all of that back really cost me a true sense of connection with you. I realised how badly I got caught up in being busy (as always 🙄) and so comfortable with being independent that I never made much effort to check in with you.
I guess that might have been one of the reasons why I held back from sharing on the blog for the past few months. It’s been pretty amazing catching up with friends who casually tell me that they really enjoy reading my blog and get inspired by the stuff I write about (y’all never make comments or anything so I had no idea 😮). Many have asked how it’s going and when I’m going to write another post and I’m just like… hmm, I’m too busy, not a priority right now. Excuses, excuses, excuses.
The truth is, I probably just didn’t feel comfortable sharing what I was up to because while it was fun and exciting, it probably wasn’t the most “responsible” way of going about things (neglecting uni in favour of working on my business ideas) and to be honest, I probably thought that a lot of my friends wouldn’t be able to relate either. Hence why I only ever shared what I was up to with my closest friends who are totally chill with hearing about all the random ideas that I’m working on from time to time. Of course, it’s not too late. I intend to look back on my experiences in the past months and share some of them because I learned many valuable lessons.
I am grateful that we had a good chat and that I was in the right frame of mind to be able to see that you were coming from a place of care and concern rather than disapproval or judgment. It’s true that I haven’t had my priorities straight and didn’t think about the consequences that my actions could’ve had. I’m sorry if I made you worry about me. I’m also grateful that you gave me the space to do my own thing, even though I don’t always make the best decisions.
Thank you for giving life to me and for giving me the life that I have right now. I think it’s quite rare to find Asian parents that are as chill as you, who let their little dumpling pretty much do whatever the hell they want (within reasonable limits) and pursue their interests rather than try to squeeze them into a box filled with expectations.
Even though I can never fully repay you for what you’ve done, I will give back by supporting you in having the best years of your life ahead and being a shining example of the legacy that you will leave in this world. 🌟
Lots and lots of love,
Your cute-ass kid